How To Calm Inuyasha Down, If You Are Not Kagome!
by kennyylove
Summary: AU. ONE-SHOT! What happens when Inuyasha has gone full-demon and Kagome's no where to be found? Sango and Miroku are going to figure out the hard way. Read and Review!


**How To Calm Inuyasha Down, If You Are Not Kagome!**

_**AU**. ONE-SHOT! What happens when Inuyasha has gone full-demon and Kagome's no where to be found? Sango and Miroku are going to figure out the hard way. _

**Author's Note: **Seriously! Everytime I watch Inuyasha, it's always Kagome that saves Inu from being an evil full demon. But what if she's not there? Well, I suck at doing them in the Feudal Era, so it's in the modern time. Inuyasha is at his house, and Miroku and Sango are over. Kagome went out to get more Ramen cause they ran out. Let's just say..Sango and Miroku do something.

I do not and will never not own Inuyasha and any of the songs used in this very story. I don't own Ramen. But they're goooooood!

* * *

Sango had tears streaming down her pale complexion, her mascara slightly smudged. No, Kagome couldn't leave her! Not now, not ever! Sango dropped to her knees, hugging the departing girl's leg. "Don't leave me here, Kago-chan!" she cried, "They might do something bad to me!" Her death grip on the girl was loosening, maybe because she was slightly getting tired.

Someone in the background scoffed. And another one coughed. Kagome giggled at her best friend's reaction. "Sango-chan, I'm only getting some ramen," the raven-head explained, "If something happens, I'm only down the street!" She pryed the girl's arm away from her right leg, and helped her up. She laughed at Sango's attempt to make an adorable puppy dog look. Well, it kinda worked. Keyword: _kinda_.

"Please, Sango! The only person who'll mess with ya is Miroku!" Inuyasha barked (no pun!), pointing at Miroku, who was of course, trying to look innocent. Sango squeaked and hid behind Kagome. Inuyasha chuckled. His friends were so unpredictable. Well, except for Miroku.

"My dear Sango! You do not need to worry! I'll protect you from _that_!" Miroku teased, pointing at Inuyasha. The hanyou twitched and was held back by Kagome to prevent him from murdering the poor monk. Everyone laughed, except for Inuyasha, and bid Kagome farewell. Sango gulped and slowly walked towards the living room. She felt Miroku's eyes follow her, which is totally annoying and creepy. Inuyasha sat down on floor, while Miroku sat fairly close to Sango. His hands skillfully found their destination and slowly squeezed.

"AHH! YOU PERVERT!" she screamed, jumped (accidentally hitting Inuyasha on the head), and brutally hit Miroku with an empty soda can that she found. Inuyasha had a chain of beautiful words coming out of his mouth, rubbing the back of his head. Miroku fell to the floor, several bumps appearing on his head.

Inuyasha shook his head, while Sango was breathing heavily. "Don't you ever learn your lesson, 'Roku?" Inuyasha asked, as the young monk slowly sat up, keeping a safe distance away from the vicious slayer. Inuyasha laughed, and after several seconds later, so did Sango.

After fifteen minutes, Kagome was still not back. But she did take a long time shopping for _ramen_. Ramen, for Kami's sake! The trio were watching The Unborn (unrated, of course!), which was not really that scary. Just...highly disturbing and creepy. Sango poked Miroku's back, beckoning him to pull his head closer towards her. She then whispered a conniving plan in his ear, which let the pervert to possess a rather large evil grin.

Slowly and quietly, the duo got up and tiptoed up to Inuyasha's room, doing whatever the hell their plan was.

Inuyasha noticed, that it had been FIFTEEN minutes of silence. No girlish screams from Miroku, no slaps, no _THUMP!_s, no **anything**. He got up and looked around the living. It was only him, and no one else.

"Damn," he cursed to no one, "Where the hell are those two?"

At first he hesitated. Maybe they went to.....ew. Not in his house. Plus, Sango? Everyone knew that she LIKED, nah LOVED Miroku, but going into that already? Inuyasha inwardly puked. He shook his head and slowly walked into the kitchen. Empty.

The backyard, empty.

The dining room, empty.

Bathrooms on the first floor? Empty.

Which meant only one thing, they were upstairs. '_Please, not in my room!_' he begged, and he sped up the stairs. He opened all of the rooms, one-by-one. First the master bedroom, then Kagome's (when she stayed over), then......his.

"**WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!**" he screamed, fire burning in his eyes.

When he opened his door, he found Miroku and Sango cutting his boxers and underwear. Miroku had one on his head, maybe wearing it as a hat, and Sango was holding another one, cutting it. They dropped everything that they were doing and tried to look innocent. Inuyasha looked at his room. His bed was a mess, his alarm clock was broken, his favorite red shirt had a black spot in the middle of it, and all of his tidy whities had a hole in the back and FRONT!

Inuyasha twitched uncontrollably, his eyes being hidden by his bangs. Sango and Miroku gulped. What if he was turning demon on THEM?

Sango and Miroku stood up and slowly slid out of his room, while Inuyasha's hidden eyes followed them. He let out a throaty growl, before looking up. There were purple marks on both of his cheeks, his eyes were blood red, his claws suddenly became longer, and his fangs were showing.

"Uhhh, it was just a joke!" Miroku pleaded, as the two inched away from the full-blooded demon who they used to call their "best friend".

Inuyasha just growled as them, and when that happened, the duo descended down the stairs and went into the nearest room, which was the bathroom. They locked the door, seeing that that won't work. Miroku glared at Sango, who smiled sheepishly.

"This is your fault." Miroku accused, pointing a finger at her. Sango blew a raspberry at him.

"No! I told you that we can make a mess out of his room, not his undies!"

"HEY! You said make him _furious_, but not the typed that can kill us!" he whispered.

Sango glared hard at him. "You're the one the gave me the idea of cutting his underwear! What are you? Into dudes' lingerie now?!"

Miroku put on a fake insulted face. "No, my beautiful Sango! I'm only interested in _your_ lingerie!" he covered up.

A loud _BANG! _on the door made them both winced. Sango grabbed the toilet plunger, while Miroku broke off the toilet seat.

"Miroku? A _toilet seat_?!" Sango asked, pointing at what he was holding. Miroku grinned.

"So, he's a DOG! He might get curious and start chasing his tail or something!" he backed up. The banging stopped.

Miroku and Sango opened the bathroom door and slowly walked. No sign of the human-sized look-alike of a cute rabid dog anywhere. They walked towards the kitchen, and out of nowhere Inuyasha was now standing in front of Miroku. He let out a girlish scream and dunked the middle hole of the toilet seat on Inuyasha's head. The demon looked at the toilet seat that was now on his head, and laughed evilly.

"A toilet seat? You foolish monk!" he laughed evilly. Sango took no chances and began hitting him with the plunger. Inuyasha began to winced, since Sango had quite a hit. He grabbed the plunger and broke it in half. The two ran towards the kitchen and threw everything at the unstoppable demon.

"Miroku, give me something to throw at him!" Miroku nodded and grabbed cereal boxes, that thing that holds knives, water bottles, a bucket, the soap container, and a spoon.

"A SPOON, MIROKU?!" Sango screamed, Miroku shuddered.

"WHAT?! I'm hungry!" he whined, before handing Sango the things she could throw.

The cereal boxes didn't do anything, the water bottles were not as effective, the bucket missed, the soap container barely made it, and the spoon was a no-go! Sango threw the thing that hold knives hard at Inuyasha and...

_BANG! THUMP!_

The thingy rolled away as Inuyasha collapsed on the floor. Miroku and Sango high-fived and dragged the now unconcious hanyou to the living room.

* * *

Kagome opened the door quietly, only to find the house a mess. Cereal boxes were everywhere in the kitchen, there was a plunger and a toilet seat outside the bathroom, and the thing that holds kitchen knives wasn't even in the kitchen!

Kagome safely put the boxes of ramen away and walked to the living room. She was surprised to see that Inuyasha was knocked out...and not Miroku. The two were fanning the sleeping hanyou, and smiled foolishly at Kagome.

The hanyou opened his golden eyes and sniffed the air.

"Why the hell do I have a headache and smell like someone's ass?" he questioned angrily, looking at the two blushing teens who were fanning him. They tried to get away from the hanyou, but were stopped by Kagome...who didn't look happy. Well, neither did Inuyasha.

"Both of you, explain **now**."

Oh, what a happy day.

* * *

Pure butt boredom.

See the things I come up with?

xoxo,

kenny !


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